Let’s start this with one of the first worst dates I like to re call. I stated in my introduction that a lot of the time this will be partially my fault to of course. Well lets just say I am WAY to passive aggressive sometimes, a terrible trait when dating douchey boys.
This goes back to a few years ago… about 2012.
I had met this guy through my younger sister.
He was not my favorite person by any means but one New Years Eve night I got a little too drunk and had a makeout sesh with this guy downtown and that’s how we got to Krispy Kreme a few days later.
So he calls me up one afternoon and asks me if I wanted to hang out and for once in my life I had run out of logical excuses to NOT hang out.
So I said sure like an idiot.
He says ” I think we should do something crazy but I don’t want you to judge me…”
Now, I don’t know about you guys, but when some dude says “crazy” and “don’t judge me..” in the same sentence I think one of two things:
you want to murder me
you want to do some creepy sexual thing that I am not going to want to do
Either way I’m going to judge you.
So back to where we were, I say “Alright… what’s the plan?”
He says ” We should go get Krispy Kreme Donuts!”
(relieved as I am) I say “umm dude… the closest K.K. is 2 hours away..”
“Yeah It’s cool I’ll drive us!”
So passive aggressive me says why the eff not! let’s see how this turns out!
I drive to his house, text him I’m out front cause I’m lazy, he comes out looking a bit weird, and says to be through my window the words that should have made me turn right back around and head home.
“So… I’m like… super high right now… and like… my car isn’t working… is it cool that you drive and I’ll give you gas money?”
Passive aggressive, can’t fucking say no, Brianna strikes again.
“Sure… but I gotta check my oil first man.”
Twenty minutes later we are on the road headed to Krispy Kreme Donuts.
Now at this point I am just trying to convince myself that donuts are worth this torture I’ve put myself through. I start thinking to myself I probably deserve this type of dating lifestyle because I apparently have not learned how to stand up for myself. Let me tell you though, insecurities are a bitch! They will convince you to do things you REALLY shouldn’t do no matter what the situation is. No matter how many times your friends and family tell you are worth more than donuts with some dumb stoner kid, you still tell yourself a two hour drive is fine… it’s fine right?
Back to the flashback, This had to have been the most agonizing two hour road trip I have ever been on. This kid just sat there smelling like weed and cigarettes, staring out my car window, not saying one damn word. I eventually gave up trying to make conversation and turned up the radio to sing N*Sync as loud as I could hoping he would get as uncomfortable as I was but he was too stoned of course. We make it to Krispy Kreme right before closing and we get in and this guy orders two dozen donuts! I was stoked!
My inner fat kid was like YES you are getting some donuts to take home and all is well and worth it… but I was once again mistaken.
He gives me one… single… donut….Just one.
I almost left him at Krispy Kreme’s…but I am too nice for my own good.
So i am starving at this point and he was like “let’s get In N’ Out”
And I’m like yea im hungry too, thinking we can get in the drive thru and I can just head home asap.
We get in the drive thru and he starts laughing and says “Man… this has been such a great date!” and tries to hold my hand.
Panic and anger set in and I rip my hand away ( probably more fiercely in my head than in reality) and I say “I don’t hold hands in card” and grip the steering wheel as though it was about to fall off the car. ”
and since that is the dumbest thing my shocked brain could say he says “umm well we aren’t really driving… we are in a drive thru are you sure?”
I say as stoned face as possible “I cannot hold hands in cars it’s too dangerous”
We get out of In N’ Out, get back on the freeway, head two hours back home.
Get to his house, he says “I’ve had a great night”
I steal a donut from him and close his door from the inside and shut that chapter real quick.