Let me just tell you all about my man B*ICE. We didn’t always have a great and open friendship as we do now we had to start somewhere right ?
Well we started out by attempting to go on dates and meeting on that wonderful dating website of hell.
I wasn’t all that sure about my good friend at first… But this guy. He’s one of the funniest guys I know! He’s also pretty damn supportive and the biggest man slut ever!
We started talking and the first thing he does is ask me if I like karaoke. At which I say I do but only if I’m wasted! He’s like come get drunk with me and sing karoke! I’m like umm no bro I don’t know you?!
So we decide to make plans to go out and get beers together one day. Well the first three plans failed miserably. He had something to do or I had something do or who knows what else happened.
Finally ! We end up meeting up. I think he’s great! I’m like man this guys hilarious ! We talk about how I apparently wear red in everything and then we decide to go to this casino and attempt to gamble right ? We get there and this place is super sketchy… Like we could potentially get raped or shot.
So these two dudes try hitting on me while we are walking and instead of being a gentleman this motherfucker laughs and runs away and leaves me to fend for myself ! I was like asshole !
So we get out of the casino and decide to go get me some food! We get in the car and vanilla ice comes on! We rapped so hard vanilla ice would be shamed… Hence came B*ICEs nickname… My nickname is hit man. That is another story another time my friends… But be careful.
So we go get Thai food after we have some beers and as I’m chowing down on some delicious Thai fried rice outside in the rain and we start talking about….porn.
Because my life wouldn’t be my life without someone bringing up porn on a date right ? And so that conversation goes into well what kind of porn you into? And I’m like well I’m into pretty much whatever I feel is turning me on at that point.
He’s like “even lesbian potn? Are you bi?”
And I’m like ” no but lesbian porn is pretty hot.”
And he’s like ” oh you’re probably bi”
And I’m like “okay dude haha whatever”
So we get back to my car and say goodbye. This ending the weirdest date I’ve had… I didn’t even know it was a date!
Later on we went to a poker night, just as weird but fun. We went clubbing, just as weird just as fun.
And we’ve met up multiple times since to discuss out marvelous sex lives or lack thereof and wat Thai food. He also continuously asks me for nudes & wants to bang.
I love you B*ICE hahahha.