Gotta catch em’ all

So you know it’s bad when your last post is some sappy self sabotaging shit… well don’t worry I’m gunna bring back some more interesting dating experiences I’ve had.  I’ve been like your absent mother or father lately who calls every six months ( I can joke about this because my mother is totally that mom) but working two jobs is a little time consuming readers. Don’t judge me too hard! 
Okay I’m bringing back those online stories I’ve had recently. You know… online dating hasn’t become any better in the last couple months. Why has this become the norm?! I want to be able to walk into a coffee shop and tell some random hot guy he’s hot dammit.. but no. Then I look like a serial killer or some creepy stalker…. I am not saying which is more accurate … haha. 

Let’s start with the Pokémon guy: 

He is a teacher, which I found to be slightly adorable, and he seemed nerdy… I didn’t think it was this bad but apparently I am a terrible judge of character as we all know. I didn’t really read his online profile more so scanned his pics and was like “he aight” and he messaged me which was cool. So we started talking and he asks me about Harry Potter which is a great opening and then told me I was beautiful and all the boring stuff. 

The conversation goes well and I give him my number and then I wait for a text and one never comes right ? So I write him a day later and was like ” too weird to give you my number this early?” 

And he’s like ” no I texted you” and I was like umm no you didn’t. 

I recheck the number it’s correct. So then I say okay give me your number. He does, I text him, still nothing. 

Now at this point I’m like why won’t the phones work?! That’s weird! So I tell him right I guess let’s just talk on here. We keep talking and one day I was like “hey what you up too?” And he goes-

“Playing Pokémon”

And I’m like 

“Nice! How’s the hunt going?”

And he’s like 

“Um no. NOT PokémonGo, the real card version obviously.”

And I’m like… woah… okay buddy-

“Well… don’t you technically “catch” Pokémon in the card game too? I mean isn’t that like the phrase of the card game ?!”

And he’s like —

“No. You don’t know what you’re talking about”

And I’m like bye. So I was curious and went back and read his profile to see what I missed right ? THIS IS IMPORTANT. Read the fucking profile cause I could have avoided this entire conversation. 

His profile states he wants a women to 

  1. Take care of him only.
  2. Do what he says when he says it.
  3. He will give affection ONLY when he wants to not when you want it.
  4. He doesn’t know what he wants but he’s 28 and will figure it out. 

Nope. I don’t like being told what to do see ya nerd. 

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2 thoughts on “Gotta catch em’ all

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