I’ve been trying to write this one for a while and I don’t think it’s even that bad of a story more of just the shock effect on MY end.
I never plan things unless it’s a vacation. I am the most spontaneous shopper ( which makes my bank account hate me), I constantly go on bad dates when all signs point to NO (which makes my heart and head hurt), I always talk to those people I know I shouldn’t ( again I make bad decisions people).
So when someone asks me — what’s your 5 year plan? I literally will laugh in your face. Which apparently this guy wasn’t having that…
We decide to meet at Starbucks which is a really good meeting place because even when things suck I can still get coffee! (Peppermint white mochas in case anyone is curious ).
He isn’t the cutest, he’s a bit older than I am, but he is sarcastic and funny over text and we all have become accustomed to me just going in for laughs.
He was there waiting when I got there. I walk up and say hi and he’s already got a drink so I go in and get my drink, then come outside to greet him.
He stays sitting and says “well it’s about time.” And I’m sort confused since technically I AM earlier than we said we were gunna meet. It’s not my fault you are like 10 hours early bro. So I laugh hoping it’s a joke… thankfully it was or else he probably woulda been punched in the face.
So I say ” how Are you?”
And he just jumps right in!
“So I need to know what are your 5 year plans and goals?”
And I’m sitting there again like…. do I laugh? He’s joking right ? Nope… and I laughed.
He stares at me intensely and says again-
I’m serious. Here’s the thing I’m not fucking around. I want something serious. I want someone who has goals and intentions and dreams. I want a family in 3 years and a marriage–
And lemme just stop him right there. I say to him.
I am 24 ( at the time). I am a wild, spontaneous, weird girl who is just trying to figure he shit out day by day. I have absolutely no intentions of starting a family or getting married ANYTIME soon. I have goals but they are real long term goals or real short term no 5 year plan. If that’s what you want then we should finish our coffee and say adieu.
He looks at me, slightly angry but also amused, which is creepy, and says in all seriousness…
“Well that’s good to know so you wanna maybe have a little fun in the mean time if you know what I mean?”
Yes sir I know what you mean but fuck no.
I say I have to go and thanks and then I head out and get in my car like what the shit just happened?!
And because it’s my life this asshole and I were parked next to each other! I drove off fast to contemplate my 5 year plan for the next person who decided to ask me… maybe that was life’s way of telling me get my shit together.