I always ask how long it takes to move on from someone and someone once told me it takes as many years you were with or in love with someone… but do you ever really fall out of love with someone 100 %? This is everything I still want to say to you… and it’s pathetic really.
I have so many dreams about you and it’s ridiculous… in fact… it’s almost annoying. Usually when this happens one of us gets in contact with the other and then we start the whole process all over again. I think it will be different this time… I don’t think we will get in contact like we used too. If we did, it would end in a shit show anyways since we can’t seem to move on from past experiences. I want to write to you and tell you everything. I want to let you know the things I wish I could tell everyone else.
It’s hard because you were never really that… intuitive with me. You never knew the right things to say. You were never all romantic and lovey when I needed it. You were not the things I ” want” in someone now… and that was never an issue. So this is for you.
If you still care, if you still remember those feelings… I’m here. I’m out of our hometown, I did the thing you were always afraid of me doing. I did the thing I told you I was going to. I held my end of the bargain and that’s the worst feeling is knowing you haven’t held up our deal. I didn’t think we needed to say it out loud, I felt like it was pretty obvious.
I still love you. I still hate you. I am willing to move past things… but just know… I’m here. I’m doing me.
I’m focused on my life but I’m here if you need me.
You probably are doing you and that’s great… you deserve it. Just know… if it takes 50 years and a couple failed relationships… I’ll probably still be there.
Everyone thinks I’m pathetic… and maybe they are right… but like I said…
Do you ever really fall out of love with someone 100 %?
I dont know… right now I just don’t know….