All my exes live in Texas

Texas is a BIG ASS state… everyone who is anyone knows this am I right? Well I live in a decent size city between Dallas and Ft. Worth Area. Both of those cities are pretty close by which means the dating pool get’s open pretty wide… I know I said i was taking a hiatus from dating, and technically I HAVE… ish.

Since I have lived here I have been stood up, twice, almost met up with a guy so I could knock him the fuck out, been out with men who think I am good for sex only, who talk shit about my home/ west coast like that’s not a piece of me, have commented on things that make no sense, and men who I have NOTHING in common with.

I have learned a few things:

  • I want nothing to do with men who think they can talk shit about where I come from but if i say something about their state that I am just an idiot and ” how dare I”– please leave me alone forever.
  • I want nothing to do with men who think women CANNOT do something or that ALL women are exactly the same – not all men are the same and you’re lucky I don’t shove my fist into your face you pig.
  • Do not start talking to a girl or a person in general just to ask them out – then out of NOWHERE- literally no heads up or warning – ignore them and never speak to them again… especially with someone as paranoid as me- I am thinking you probably died or were part of some secret spy club or something… psychos!

Anyways… I think even if i decide to keep randomly talking to these guys because I am bored and lonely and this is what modern dating as turned out to be– I dont want any of them. I mean…  even when I think I like someone I still am bored of them after the first few conversations.

Also why do conversations have to be so bland and boring? Like if i have drama going on in my life am I supposed to pretend and say ” oh em gee I am SO GREAT! like life is wonderful and amazing and i like love to shop and like buy makeup and like be a girl” no fuck you… that isn’t gunna happen sweetheart because again – not all women are the same.

If I am going to start talking to you then you better be prepared for me to have REAL LIFE conversations with you. I am not going to sugarcoat my life and I wouldn’t expect the same from you… I mean honestly, at least this way If you can’t handle me or my conversations I can just weed you out. I can just tell you – hey I’m not feeling it and peace the fuck out.

Because if “soulmates” or “true love” ends up being real and as awesome as some people keep saying it is then my motherfucking soul-mate is still out there doing his damn thing and good for him.  He’s probably just as fucking insane and crazy as I am. He’s probably moved like 8 states and is thinking ” man I fucking hate dating” too. Shit, he’s probably in a really awesome relationship and doesn’t even know we are soul mates hahaha that’s my luck.


but for real let me make this CLEAR—->I dont think ALL Texas men are bad but some of you guys & gals need to get your fucking shit together and stop talking trash about women, Trump isn’t LIFE, there’s more to this world than cowboy boots and off roading and hunting, the gays aren’t out to get you and ruin your children, not everyone goes to church, not all women want to be stay at home wives and have babies… and yes, as a women I can take care of myself- shocker I know!

ALSO- not all west coast men and women are Liberal pussies who think they are entitled to everything, we don’t all think surfing is cool ( you guys forgot there is more than just California on the west coast clearly), we don’t ALL have super strict gun laws and believe guns are bad and no nos,  we aren’t all super laid back and chill and don’t care about our jobs or working…. we actually care about a lot more than JUST work.

anyways- back to being single forever ❤



Was I stood up or did you die?

But for real… Let me just say one thing.

There are times when I don’t want to talk to someone anymore, and yeah, I ghosted them right? but NEVER have I  EVER stood someone up for a date. I always give them the benefit of the doubt, even when they are crazies — as you all can vouch for me!

but this is the SECOND time this month someone has started talking to me- asked me to hang out, initiated the conversation and everything, just to blow me off completely on the day of the date and then they just disappear… almost like they weren’t real or something happened or I don’t even know!

And I mean hey, maybe I dodged some bullets on these guys right? That doesn’t mean it isn’t frustrating beyond reason. Like.. if you changed your mind or something was going on, just fucking say so. Don’t be a dick and blow me off– fucking losers.  Because then I am just left with thoughts of like… okay A- you’re just an asshole or B- Did you die? Are you hurt? Did your phone break? — and all of those are like… things you can obviously be like… oh okay, you didn’t just blow me off…

They start making me think I am the crazy one!! But whatever….!

Anyways- back to the previously stated Dating Hiatus.


Dating Hiatus

Heyyyy friends!
So I am on a slight dating Hiatus– which means these blog posts either need to be normal, artsy, or just on a break as well! So sorry, it just doesn’t feel right to be dating around at the moment.
Just too much stress and change — anyways! Thanks for reading this thing whoever does read and laughing or crying or making fun of me ( I dont need to know which is which) haha.

Anyways — I will be back as soon as I have something exciting to tell you!
Ciao Loves ❤

Parents Advice

I love when my parents try to get involved in my dating life, it’s quite hilarious.

Let me give you some background–

My dad and my stepmom have been together for like ever it feels like ( I really can’t remember how long now… 15 years? 16 years? ) a long time now– anyways they are 12 1/2 years apart in age. My dad is 51 and my stepmom is 39 now… when they met she was like 18-19? And at that point in time he had 3 kids already with two different women ( my dad is a whore :p ) just kidding dad!

So anyways, my older brother is married and has two kids and one on the way, my sister who is younger than me has a kid but isn’t married, and then there is me kid-less and single, and then my 15 year old sister who is thankfully kid less ( for a long time she better be or else) .

Well anyways since according to the old days and the laws of the old world that everyone has embedded in their brains no matter what, I would be an old wench who would die alone at 25 right? No kids, no husband… imagine the character i would be in a Jane Austen novel… to die by my pen alone and childless– what an abomination!

So here is my families logic:

My dad and stepmom think I need me either a 19 year old I can train – OH MY GOD DAD.
Or a 38-40 year old who has his shit together and can treat me like a man – OH MY GOD DAD. No in- between just 19 or 40…. umm not gunna happen dad sorry.

My real mother, she thinks i need like 21-23– she said younger is better– OH MY GOD MOM. Seriously though, all she has ever dated is younger men… I am seeing a pattern here.

My grandma…. she keeps her opinions to herself but I am starting to get convinced she also agrees I am going to die alone since every time she sees or talks to me she asks me if I have a new man in my life… sorry grandma… I am an old wench doomed to be alone, no grand kids from this grand daughter.

My brother and his wife — they think older.
My sister whose 22- she thinks older.
My 15 year old sister- she doesn’t get an opinion cause she is still 3 years old in my eyes.

But what i like to remind them is, I have never listened to them when it comes to dating! They have hated every single boyfriend I’ve had haha.

Just thought I’d share a little parent humor this morning.
I have taken myself off social media and dating sites for a little… I need a mental break… I’d rather be single right now then keep dating these psychos.


Group Fraternity Photo Search Guy

Guys… get this nonsense…

This guy messaged me on OKC and he had two photos on his profile and hardly anything explaining who he was as a person right? So I went to check his photo’s out closer and I open one up and he didn’t even take the time to CROP the photo.

It was literally a group of men all in suits, a Frat group photo, with the google search in the screen shot!!! Like this guy… this guy was so dumb he didn’t even take the time to crop the photo… he just looked at this photo he screen shot and was like

” this is it… this is the photo that will get all the bitches.”

I was dying! And his message was even better… he said something along the lines of ( and I’m paraphrasing cause I deleted him outta my messages lol)

” You should get to know me 🙂 I’m pretty great and the only thing that isn’t is my small package lol”

to which I responded

” I am more concerned with the fact that you didn’t even crop your photo…”

and he wrote


like no one had yet called him out about it! I didn’t know what to do! I was like wtf?! so I wrote back and was like

” Listen, if you’re going to catfish someone at least have the decency to crop out your google search”

to which he says:

“So wanna like talk more? Maybe use KIK?”

and i was like

” nah, bye”

please shoot me… I literally am going to die alone.
* Insert eye roll and head banging emoji now*

“Let’s meet at my place- I’M JOKING”

There are few things in this world that make me so angry I have wanted to share with the world what type of human someone is specifically to make sure that EVERYONE else can avoid this human…. but this motherfucker… he 100 % sent me over the edge.

Let’s rewind back to when I was living in NJ for a little bit. I went out with this guy but BEFORE I did he would keep making these ” jokes” about how it would be easier to meet at his place and he would repeatedly do this over and over again for the week and then EVEN after we met in person… he continued to bring it up. I had told him over and over again that the jokes were not funny and that if all he wanted was a quick hook up then he needed to just say that and get it over with. He was neither
a- Honest
b- serious about a relationship
And because of that ” date” , if you can even call it that, I now no longer trust anyone who is going to keep making jokes like that over and over again. It’s one thing if you make the joke and then let it go, it’s another if you continuously do it.. that just means to me you have a problem with something and it’s most likely bothering you. That or you’re immature can’t understand when a girl or person if pissed off and irritated about a ” joke”

So flash forward to earlier last week when I met the newest addition to my stories.

I am normally very interested in reading peoples profiles on OKC because they are so funny and sometimes they are actually really honest about a person but because of that I sometimes think we get a view on that person before we even really talk to the person– we also absolutely judge on the photo’s right?
So occasionally, I wont read the profile and I’ll look at one picture just to try to clear my head when speaking to someone. I try to give them a fair chance and not make any assumptions about them, but when I do this I only seem to find that we never in a million years would work out.

So it backfired again right but I had no idea it was going to turn into this type of argument at all.  We started talking about photography, great subject to start with when talking to me- props. I saw he was 30, a decent age for me as well as I am 25- props. He had a stable job, he used to take photos professionally, he’s well traveled, he likes to talk on the phone, hes taller and cute– all props , all good.

He called me on the phone, we had decent conversations and were starting to get to know one another and he doe the whole ” we should meet up sometime” thing and I’m like sounds good to me, how about Saturday– he agrees and we start talking about where we should meet up and so on right? And it’s at this point when I have a make or break situation happen. I say ” So what do you wanna do on Saturday?” and he says:

” You can just come to my place, we can build a pillow fort and hang out :p” 

And a few things happen in my head…

1- A pillow fort? are we children again? I mean i am all about being young at heart and that’s super cute to do… if you are in a relationship? If you are with your friends? but not as a first date in my personal opinion.
2. ” you can just come back to my place…” — again, what part of  not wanting to meet a guy in his place for the first time meeting is so fucking difficult for men to understand? I mean… a few words pop into my head when a man say’s that to me… no scratch that, when ANYONE I don’t know says that too me…. RAPE. MURDER. PSYCHOS. KIDNAPPING. and maybe you’re right, I’m a little paranoid and come off as crazy but I live in a world where people say they are one type of person and then what happens is the minute you let your guard down, they are a completely different type of person. So yes, I am a little cautious about the people I meet and where I meet them.

ANYWAYS, So he said that and I said ” ha ha, that’s cute but why don’t we meet at like a coffee shop or dinner or walk around outside at a park or something?” and he’s like –

“I find it funny that women seem to think that they can use the ” I’m just paranoid” thing as an excuse these days to jut blow men off after they find they aren’t attracted to them but okay we can meet somewhere public if you want that’s fine”

And that just ticked me off even more but I let it go like the “good girl” I am…. until he wouldn’t shut. the. fuck. up. He then proceeded to remind me in every single conversation and text that ” it would be so much easier if we just met at his place” then him having to ” buy me dinner and spend all this money on me even after he has to come and pick me up from my place” to which i then responded–

“Why do you think it’s okay to keep bringing up that I wont come over to your place after you also keep trying to remind me that ” it’s okay” if we don’t go? Are you really that irritated about it because at this point the joke isn’t funny” 

To which he replied-

“wow way to get defensive maybe we should just talk a bit more. I CLEARLY told you i was okay with it and i assumed you would take that as a joke, obviously not”

And I was like –

” well you keep joking about it so i just figured it was an issue… I’m sorry if it was actually a joke and I misinterpreted it but i have had guys do this before so I am a little cautious about it.” 

and at this point he stopped texting me back and so i figured I would be the ” bigger” person and apologize about not ” understanding” it was a joke and explain about the NJ guy and so on.

He apparently took that offensively but of course he couldn’t just come out and say that until later on. So that was all on a Friday night, so on Saturday we were supposed to go out on that ” date” and so I wrote him in the morning, apologizing again just because I hate fighting and see if I can get a response out of him, and got nothing.

I decide that I will keep my plans simple and wait it out and see and then decide from there if I hear from him how to go about my plans and so on. I didn’t hear from him all day. I went out with my girlfriends and we went dancing and drinking and didn’t get home 3 am roughly… and then guess who decided to text me at 2:45 am… Yup… you guessed right.

BUT what you probably didn’t guess was what this asshole had to say! He says “SUP”… are you kidding me? SUP?! So either you lookin for a booty call ( which isn’t happening) or you’re a fucking idiot ( ding ding!) I write him back and I say ” Not much.” At this point I’m gonna keep this real short and see what you want real quick.

He says– ” Nothing, just getting home from a friends birthday party… totally forgot about today with you.” 

You. are. joking? You are going to text the girl who you stood up on a date at 2:45 am and tell her sup and then tell her you forgot about your date but randomly remembered her at 3 AM… you must be out of your damn mind.

I didn’t write back right away because I didn’t have anything nice to say and as How I met Your Mother always says– “Nothing good happens after 2 AM” –– they were once again correct. He writes me and asks how my night went and to which i reply ” fine, went dancing it was good” trying to just go to sleep and forget this guy…. and that’s exactly what I did. I went to bed.

Sunday– I go about my day as a normal person and then at 2 pm, I get a text from him again saying ” sup.” AGAIN…. and I just Ignore him the rest of the day because this is just stupid and I again don’t have a decent response.

MONDAY- Welcome to Monday… we all hate Monday’s already and now more of a reason to hate them. He writes me at 6 pm… and he says ” so we done talking then?”

And it was that simple half sentence… to which… I lost my shit. 

I write him back the longest message ever and I wont bore you because it’s much to long but let me sum it up for you.

I told him that it was “cute” that he can all of a sudden write me more than a one word text message saying “sup” especially after the week before he was so chatty he didn’t want to text me he HAD to call me on the phone. To which i then told him what an ASSHOLE he was for being so over dramatic about me simply speaking my mind about a joke I was sick of hearing and that he was clearly one of those people that doesn’t like when people speak their mind ESPECIALLY women he is interested in. I then proceeded to tell him that YES we were done talking because I was sick of his shit.

He then wrote me telling me all sorts of BS and digging himself into a deeper hole in my book… and the end result was him telling me–

” Listen I am not going to bicker about this through a text message. We can either move on and keep talking or move on all together. So if you want to continue talking, that is great, and if not, good luck” 

And I wrote back–

“Nah i’m good. I’d rather not get to know you anymore.”

and he says–

“Great, then it was no big loss. :D” 

And put a fucking smiley face emoji… so cute… such a nice guy..

This boy – i cannot even call him a man even at 30- got his FEELINGS hurt by me and then decided instead of talking about the situation it was easier to turn the blame onto me and make me look like and act like some crazy psycho woman. Well I am not and that is one thing I DO know.

Do not ever treat me like a child.
Do not even treat me like I do not have my own, valid opinions.
Do not ever, ever make me out to be a crazy person because of my opinions and emotions because then you will see a crazy person. You know will know what being blown up on is.


Blocked Baby

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately- this has been such a wild year for me.

I up and quit my job back home to move all the way across the country alone just to hate it over there and quit my job again but recklessly this time. Bought a plane ticket and packed my suitcase overnight and flew out the next morning to Texas to start over yet AGAIN. While I’ve been on my kick of starting over and running from my issues I’ve come to see I am not the kind of person who just ups and forgets things in life.

I can remember my first boyfriend, the first time I told a boy i loved him, the first time a guy told me I was his everything, the first time I had sex, the first time I had GOOD sex, the first time I got dumped, the first time I felt passion, the first time that guy destroyed my heart.

One of those boys has never gone away. He is always there in the back of my head, he is always there when I am looking at other guys , talking to other guys. He is there when I think about certain life choices… but not in a sense that we are together. I just sit there and think about how things would have been different if he and I could have made it work better. If timing and differences could have been solved. I think for me… i have literally never had any closure.

He doesn’t always linger in my mind sometimes he comes outta nowhere and I sit there and go ” wtf Brianna calm down” but sometimes it’s a steady buzz of his memory. the point of this though was that because I have never had that closure I want… I texted him months before I moved across the country.

I made myself  and my close friends a deal.
I would text him by New years, and I would spill my guts out and say everything I could EVER want to say and get it all out there- let him know I am still a person and I deserve something from this whether we start over again or we end this right now and then.
Then depending the answer I got… we would go from there.
Mind you he lives across the country as well so I couldn’t do this in person.

So I did it.
I spilled my heart out. It was the longest message I have ever written.
I said everything I needed to say and it felt so good to just let it out and get it out there…. and I thought this is it! This is what it will take.. and yes, I was secretly hoping life was on my side. BUT that’s a good joke am I right?

So I sent it… and he read it… and then.

He fucking blocked me on FB and IG and ignored the message.
And I was so… angry. I wasn’t even sad. ”
I sat in my living room with my roommate venting and screaming and thinking to myself…

I FINALLY got my chance. I got to say what I NEEDED to say to this asshole and after all those months of him venting HIS emotions and feelings whenever he wanted and me forgiving him and doing whatever he asked because I WANTED to… he fucking blocks and ignores me?!

But guess what… I got my answer.
Timing and Love – that shit doesn’t exist.
He and I… we don’t belong together and you know what… that’s fine.

I got it all out there and I let it go.
But sometimes… I still get that buzzing feeling in my head like he knows I think about him. Like he knows… sometimes I still miss him and that sucks.

What’s a girl to do except move the fuck on with her life.